*Mis Dias*

January 10, 2007

If there were time-machines…


I wish we human beings already had time machines….

if we did, i would fly back to December 28, 2006 right now

and try to fix the very first thing which i believe was the fundamental cause of what’s  been happening….

 

yea i know. it’s already passed.

yea i know. i can’t change what already happened.

yea i know. what i can do now is to deal with it. 

 

human beings are complicated creatures…

we sometimes don’t even know why we did it.

 

and after we did it, we would realize it was not good.

it’s too late then. 

 

i do understand her points

i do understand your points as well

at least i’m trying to…

 

but i’m still not convinced that i did something SUPER wrong.

when i said "they are almost the same level"

i meant more "how the recipient (of the actions) felt"

that’s what it is.

i felt some disrespect, rudeness, and non-welcome from the first moments and some other times

maybe just like she felt disrespected at that moment….

we wouldn’t know.

and i don’t want to make it sound bad.

so i think i should stop saying things related to this issue.

the more complaints, the worse everyone’s feelings would be. 

 

but after i heard u said "she wouldn’t have taken it if she didn’t accept it at all"

i felt a little bit better. 

as Hikarun said, i did what i can do at the moment so just need to wait now.

and seriously, as i talk about it with u, i feel guilty more and more

and i feel like i’m hurting you more and more by telling you how i see it and how i think about it…

 

so, i should just shut up and try not to talk about it with u

until something related happens next… 

 

it’s been a challenging, complicated, unstable, and crying new year…. 




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